If you're a mother who loves her child but feels like she's quietly disappearing — watch this first.
Watch — Akshaya Balaji, Soul Shruti
If any part of this felt like someone finally said it out loud — keep reading.
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Mothers from Chennai · Bengaluru · Mumbai · Delhi · Hyderabad are finding their way back
You were prepared for the sleepless nights. The feeding schedules. The cluster feeding. The 2am doctor calls.
Nobody prepared you for this.
For the quiet loss of yourself.
You still check all the boxes. You show up. You manage the calendars, the food, the moods, the meetings. You love your child more than you have words for.
But underneath all of it — something is missing. And it's you.
You catch yourself thinking things you don't say out loud:
"I love my child but I miss my old self."
"I'm doing everything right and I still feel wrong."
"I used to know myself. Now I don't recognise her."
"I'm so tired — but I don't even know what I'm tired of."
You're not ungrateful. You're not a bad mother. You're exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix.
And you've been carrying it alone — because who would understand?
Every morning you drop your child at creche and walk into your day. Capable. Competent. Efficient.
Your colleagues see a professional. Your child sees a mother. You're not sure what you see when you look in the mirror anymore.
The guilt lives in the gap between both worlds. The mental load never switches off — not at your desk, not at dinner, not at night.
Somewhere in the middle of being good at everything, you stopped being yourself.
Your laptop is open. Your child is awake. Both need you at the same time — always.
There's no commute to separate work-you from mother-you. They bleed into each other all day. You're never fully at work. Never fully present at home.
20 tabs open in your mind. Afraid you're forgetting something. Afraid you're failing at both.
And even when your partner is in the same house — you're still the default parent. Still the one who holds it all.
You chose this. You know you chose this.
And you feel guilty that it's not enough — that you still want something.
The invisible labour. The unacknowledged work. The strange grief of losing yourself to a life you wanted.
You feel like you should be happy. The fact that you aren't is laced with shame.
You've forgotten what it feels like to want something just for you.
It is the developmental transition a woman undergoes when she becomes a mother — as profound as adolescence, as disorienting as puberty, and almost entirely unacknowledged by the world around her.
Your identity is being restructured. Your nervous system is recalibrating. Your sense of self is in free fall.
This is not a problem with you. This is a passage — and you've been trying to navigate it alone, without a map, while keeping everything else running.
You cannot think your way through a body-level transformation.
No productivity hack, better morning routine, or mindset shift will reach what's happening in your nervous system right now. This requires a different kind of work.
Yoga teacher · Breathwork guide
Certified life coach · Matrescence practitioner
Mother
I had been teaching yoga for over a decade.
I had done the breathwork, the Reiki, the coaching certifications, the sound healing. I had a supportive partner. A conscious pregnancy. Every resource in place.
And when my son was two years old, I collapsed on the floor after a yoga class and wept for hours.
I had been pushing. Numbing. Performing. Depletion had quietly replaced love with rage — toward the people I cared about most. I had stopped seeing myself entirely.
The grief and shame landed despite everything I had done. That's when I understood something I couldn't unknow:
"If it happened to me — after everything I'd learned, with all the support I had — it was happening to other mothers."
That was the moment Soul Shruti began.
I found the word matrescence and it gave language to what I had lived in silence for two years. I built a methodology to bring other mothers through the same passage — body-first, in community, with structure and real support.
Because you cannot think your way out of a body-level problem.
A 9-week live group coaching journey back to yourself.
Not back to who you were before motherhood. Back to the ground of who you are — so you can give from fullness, not depletion.
This is not about becoming a better mother. It is about becoming a woman who knows herself again — and finding that this naturally changes everything around her, including her family.
Phase 1
Weeks 1–3
From reactive to regulated
Phase 2
Weeks 4–6
From lost and fragmented to connected and whole
Phase 3
Weeks 7–9
From surviving to living
Pillar 01
Understand what's happening in your body and why. The rage, the shutdown, the exhaustion — it all makes sense from here.
Pillar 02
Come home to yourself through movement, breath, and sensation. This is where the shift begins.
Pillar 03
Hold the mother and the woman at the same time. Neither erasing the other.
Pillar 04
Heal what was passed down. Change what you pass forward. The ripple effect is real.
Pillar 05
Build a life that works for you — not just everyone else around you.
Client story
Astha
Astha came in running on empty. Going through the motions of motherhood but feeling nothing on the inside. Present in body, somewhere else in spirit.
One of her first shifts inside the program: she started taking early morning walks. Just for herself. No child, no husband, no agenda. Just her, and the morning.
It sounds small. It wasn't.
It was the first time in years she had chosen herself — and let herself feel what that felt like in her body. The first signal that she was still there.
The depletion made way for genuine devotion — to herself first, and from that place, to her family. She stopped abandoning herself. Everything changed.
Client story
Swetha
Swetha's motherhood was being run by fear. Old patterns from her own upbringing — things she had watched her own mother do — were playing out in how she showed up with her daughter.
She could see it happening. She couldn't stop it. No matter how much she understood it in her mind.
Until she did the body-level work.
The moment she knew something had genuinely shifted: her daughter — clearly, confidently — stood her ground in a situation where the old Swetha would have crumbled.
What Swetha healed in herself rippled directly into how her daughter is growing. Healing the mother heals the family.
Imagine 90 days from now.
Waking up and recognising yourself. Moving through your day without the weight of that quiet, unnamed grief. Being genuinely present with your child — not performing presence while your mind is somewhere else entirely. Your nervous system, finally, a place you can come home to.
That is what this work makes possible. In 9 weeks.
Investment details are shared on the Clarity Call. Akshaya speaks personally with every woman before enrollment — because the right fit matters more than filling seats.
Another year of going through the motions.
Another year of snapping, and carrying the guilt.
Another year of waiting to feel like yourself again.
The passage of matrescence doesn't resolve on its own. It requires navigation. She's still in there — waiting.
A Clarity Call with Akshaya. Complimentary. 45 minutes. Just for you.
This is not a sales call.
Akshaya will ask you where you are right now — what you've tried, what you're carrying, what you're actually longing for. By the end of the call, you'll have clarity about whether this program is the right container for you.
No commitment · Reviewed in 24–48 hours · Complimentary
This short application helps Akshaya prepare for your conversation and confirm you're the right fit for each other.
This is not a commitment to join. It's a conversation.
Akshaya or her team will review it and reach out within 24–48 hours to schedule your Clarity Call.